The fact that you’ve been awarded a walk-on part at the end of your husband’s impassioned romp says it all really. It’s one thing to explore the sexual boundaries of a healthy relationship and another to be a mindlessly greedy lover.

The first thing I’d like to do is commend your seemingly boundless patience! I would be less concerned about your husband’s sexuality than I would be about the fact that he has almost written you out of his fantasy narrative. What do you think? Is this a big red flag? Everything else is great between us.

I’m also starting to suspect that my husband might be gay but this would be so out of the blue I can’t really swallow it. I feel rejected but am mostly just not into it. I’m not watching or even in the room but I might walk in and catch them and then join in. They’re kissing or getting it on and I don’t even feature. Now, when we’re having sex, my husband often gets totally carried away with dirty talk about this fantasy man. Our fantasy threesomes used to involve another woman so I was curious about her being replaced by a man from the start, mainly because I’m not turned on by the two men/ one woman scenario and struggle to get into it. A regular favourite of my husband’s over the last year or so has been a threesome involving another man.

We’ve always played around with different fantasies and role plays.